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Post: :)

Hellooo,
I feel so much better today about the whole guy thing thanks to one person who gives great advice *winks* you know who you are ;)

Ummm not much happened today o.O. Have I told you? I’m a day older then the guy I like ROFL. My Birthday - 11th June His Birthday - 12th June LOL. I kept going to him “You must respect your elders” xD.

Twas my friends birthday and as a joke present I got her a bar of soap wrapped in a bit of paper, LMAO you should have seen her face. She was like ” Uhh ty :| ” and then I gave her her real present, she was much more pleased.
I’ve just come back from the Cemetery. My Grandad died 3 or 4 years ago. I don’t handle deaths well so I’m still grieving. Like… The first two years it didn’t even sink in. I kept denying it. It has only sunk in that I’m never going to see him again in the middle of last year. I went through some tough times. I was depressed, always fought with my family, had my heart broken and my best friend… He killed himself.
I’m much better now. I’ve pulled myself together.
I do believe people can change. I have. For the better, of course xD I am a much kinder person but some people change for the worse.. Some people don’t even change.. They just pretend to be something they’re not.

Anyways.. Lol. I had a good day.

Feel free to leave comments

Lots of love,
Katie x

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2 Responses to “:)”

  1. Paperxheart Says:
    March 28th, 2007 at 1:23 am

    Ahhh, death. Glad to see a familiar topic? :/ That sounds really rough. Yep, not quiet saying it, is it? As in, “That sounds really rough” is someone trying to sound and be sympathetic yet they don’t really understand all the grief and pain associated with that. A understatement? Tsh, YEAH. I don’t know you well enough yet to say weather or not you saying “I’m much better now. I’ve pulled myself together” is covering for issues that you’ve grown adept at hiding, or if infact you have gotten “much better” Either way I’m willing to bet that even if you don’t think of it much it still bugs you. Of course, the danger of talking about death always is that even if those wounds have faded to scars, bringing it up again can be very painful. My personal guess would be that you’re needing some support in this area, and commentary, seeing as you knew I’d read it :P
    The thing I see most with deaths is the feeling that you did something wrong. That you could have saved them, somehow, or that you deeply regret something that you did. No one likes to think that there’s nothing they could have done to change it, no one likes to think that they are helpless, so all too often they blame themselves for things far beyond their reach. This is a fairly normal occurrence, but that doesn’t mean that there was something you could have done. In this world all we can do is our best, and if there was a way to save them, you would have taken it. No opportunity was presented, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for living. That is so easy to say, and even if you know it on an intellectual level understanding it on an emotional level is a very different thing. It may sound cheesy, what I’m saying, to the casual observer, but if you have been in this situation, then you should understand what I’m talking about.

    That’s all the advice I can offer for now. You need a hug, even if your day was good *hugs* Death is a very overwhelming issue, and even if it happened a long time ago, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t feeling the effects.

    As to the dating thing, I think “respect your elders” is hilarious :P I tend to think that dating doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I mean, yes, it does if there is a vast difference, but love is love regardless of age. There are some acceptations to that rule, but for the most part it stands. A friend of mine married a woman almost 20 years younger then himself, and they are in love. It worked for them. . . At the same time, for just dating, especially in the teen years, I think staying relatively close to your own age group is good. The thing is, on a scale of love, that yes while years can mean a difference of perspectives, experiences and views, love is love. Are we really such a physically obsessed society that we care about the physical condition of those in marriage? At the same time although I wish I could be guiltless, I’m not. Thinking of really old people marrying younger people is. . . Disturbing. My point, however, is should it really be? Yes, if the older person is just marrying the younger person for their body, or if the younger person is marrying the older just for money, but shouldn’t love be ageless and know no bounds? Dang it, I turned another perfectly ordinary conversation into a deep contemplation of love and the world. Yet if we stop thinking and questioning, what does that make us? Blind in our own stubborn beliefs? Intolerant and uncompromising?

    I could get into a rant on people pretending to be something their not, but I already have a blog entry addressing a similar question “Why do we pretend to be perfect?”

    And that would wrap up my insanely long comment. I swear, it’s longer then the actual post you made XDD

    –Paperxheart

  2. katie Says:
    March 28th, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    Very true.. People don’t get over deaths, they just learn how to cope.
    It’s hard living without him.. It’s hard living without all the people I’ve lost. I have no family left apart from my mum sister and dad. I know this might sound really bad but my Nan might as well be dead, anyway. That sounds so mean but she has chosen her knew ‘boyfriend’ over her only family. I know she must be lonely and I should be happy for her but he’s just with her for the money (she’s quite wealthy) and she told my sister that she could call him Grandad. I hate her for that.
    Ugh. She makes me mad.

    Thank you for the hug xD I did need one, actually LMAO.

    Right.. I’ve made up my mind. I like him. Yes. Mhm. I do. :K (constipated vampire)
    I’m not going to ask him out but I’m so pleased I’ve FINALLY made my mind up. :)
    Yes, your comment was longer then my post but I like it that way. It gives me something to read LOL.

    Katie x

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