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the abpve message is what i think we should all do..maybe minus the last bit lol
rite now,this second…i am waiting for my sister to tell me what the boy i like said about me. im so scared.
i think every girl, whether she admits it or not,just wants to be swept off her feet and fall madly in love. whether she thinks it…says it out loud or subconsciously thinks it. but i also think the boys do to i mean just because they are male does not mean that they dont want the whole fairy tale romance right? what if it really was that black and white…i mean what if everyone got who they wanted…?? wouldnt the world be a boring place….i think we would all be happy for a while but we would be bored…..there would be no challenge. i like a challenge….its like….even if you lose the battle at least you fought right? at least that way you can say you tried and move on. and if we all got what we wanted then there still would be problems…what if people fall for the same person…SEE nothing is simple? it just cant be so black and white no matter what there will always be a gray area.
as much as i wish it could all be so simple its never going to be….not just when it comes to boys but getting on with family, ensuring everything is ok….and simply trying to get the grades to get into university. ITS ALL SO COMPLEX. maybe we need it too be. simplicity is boring? wrong. its the best thing in the world.wrong. not that complicated things are good for us but because they keep us guessing….and thats what i like.personally. the whole guessing thing dries me crazy but its better then knowing everything. you cant say you lived if you have not had your heart broken or if you have not had a fight with your best friend. im probably thinking too deeply into this but it makes me wonder.
point: SIMPLICITY IS COMPLEX. HENCE COMPLEX SIMPLICITY. even the most simple thing in the world is infact very complex. example i hear you ask….well…..whats more simple then the moon in the sky…its just their….every month like clock work…but how did it get there? how did it form? what is its purpose. ok i think i should stop, you have probably not even gotten to this bit but already clicked off my page!
anyway i just spoke to my sister.she asked him what he thought of me and he said ‘yeah shes hot and everything’ he makes me laugh.
he doesnt want a relationship. thats the bottom lone here bloggers. im a little gutted because well nothing works out for me …EVER! maybe it could progress later on.im going to keep faith. but i knew where i stood with him he mentioned that me n him mess about…yeah we do and he also mentioned something about not knowing when i was joking or when i was serious. i guess where just friends…for now. i really like him. 
…..i just had a wake up call..wish he never let me fall.
i should be used to all this by now. lie i said before nothing is ever simple…black or white…yes or no. theres ALWAYS maybe or a gray area. i just wanted this one thing to work. i hope this random conversation with him has not put him off talking to me or whatever. i just dread losing him altogether. i do not mind being his friend because he is a good guy and he makes me laugh.gutted.:(
i think i need a holiday. i need to get away from all this i need to get out of england. just for a while. i contemplated going to university abrad but given the looks of my grades thats a no go area now.
sadly said…bubye xxx
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