Confused - Posted In General & Daily Posts

Post: Confused

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Hey,
This is actually starting to do my HEAD in.. I don’t know if I like this guy or not.
When I’m around him it’s like “Oh hi, yeah this dude is my friend and nothing more” as soon as he goes away I’m like “Noooo! Comeee bacckkk!” wtf does this mean?

Everyone is like “Omgg you two should go out, you sooo suit” and idk if it’s just like.. So many people are telling me that I like him I’m starting to believe it or that I do like him but I’m scared to like him.. :S

I’ve been hurt over the years and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I have NEVER been dumped but they always seem to hurt me in such a way, I seem like the bad person. Idk.. that doesn’t even make sence but I’m confused so you’ll just have to deal with it LMAO.

Also, the obsessive friend.. I blocked her on MSN and then she went on her twin’s account and realised I blocked her so now she kinda gets the drift but shes still talking to me.
I know that sounds so rude but I can’t help it. She just doesn’t take the hints.

Talking about hints… I was walking out of school with the guy I “Like” and I go,
‘Omggg I love the polish dude’ (its a long story lmfao. There’s this new kid and he’s polish, he doesn’t speak a word of English. Luckily, my friend is half polish - yes, she does speak English xD - so she was telling me what to say to him. I think I scared him off because yeah… he ran away from me LOL)
and then the guy I like was like, ‘ *COUGH COUGH COUGHHH* ‘
so I was like, ‘Whaaa?’
and he’s like, ‘You just don’t get it do you?’
O_O.

So.. I asked my friend what she thought it meant and she said he was trying to say like “You’re meant to love me” type thing.. But I’m scared to ask and I don’t wanna bring it up ‘cuz it’s gunna be all weird. What do you think he meant?
And people say he looks at me during lessons and stuff but I find myself looking at him sometimes too. ;/.

*Changes subject*
IT’S MY FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW
I got her this From Me To You teddy bear and and on the T-shirt it’s got “Happy Birthday” on it. I’m so proud of myself lmfao.
Shes gunna have her B-day party in the Easter Holidays and we’re gunna go MK.
Shopping timeeee

Anyways, feel free to comment, guys.

Love you all,
Katieee xxx

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Katie on Monday, March 26th, 2007 at 6:30 pm.
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Comments to “Confused”

Paperxheart says:

March 27, 2007 at 3:53 am

I was so thrilled to see your comment on my site! My devious advertising ploy is working =3 (I mean. . . *coughs*) Naw, just kidding. It is good to see some people coming to my site though.
Today I maybe in a pome-y mood. Hmm, do I feel one coming on?

A fluttering heart, a churning mind
The turmoil a sweet and bitter confusion
Why can’t it be clear, why can’t it be simple?
Gazing while he is oblivious
I wish I knew what was going on inside
I can’t read my emotions, I can’t see my heart
It hurts and aches, confusion, but this feels good
When does friendship become something more?
Is this what I want?
Or is it just a dream, a lazy fancy passing through my head?
A smile breaks out across my face, as eyes alight upon him
I may not know the answers, but I know no matter what this is
Or where it goes
He can always charm a smile to light my face

Last year I had the same problem with friends being pushy about things. How do you ever know if this is really what you want or you just believe it because everybody else does? You’re diffidently not alone in feeling that. In being scared to like him. . . Yes, I can see that side to. It’s very confusing, in both positive and negative ways. I think the biggest fear I had was how it would change our friendship if something did happen. If we broke up, would we still be friends? There is no rushing anything or instantly finding solutions, much as we would like to. It seems to easy for other people to say “wait and see” because it’s not /them/ in the mists of this emotional turmoil. I’ve been there, and really, all you can do is wait, and fretting is less then fun. Talking to people helps, at least, it can if they aren’t biased one way or another. What happened with me was I came to the conclusion that if I could see movies with him as a friend, take bike rides and walks with him as a friend, and have long conversations, then I was okay with being just friends. I think I will get to the point of dating him eventually, if we can ever sort out our own confused feelings ;P

A friend of mine, early this year (if I recall the time correctly) said that it was like we were dating, but not calling it that. Sometimes the “dating” label can be a bit too much, especially if you’re not sure that’s what you want. . . I don’t know the dynamics of your friendship, but if you are unsure about where you stand on going out, you can still do things like go to movies as friends. If that’s not something you feel you can do alone with him, making the group a little larger is perfectly acceptable too
I hope this helped. My situation, of course, wasn’t exactly the same, but it was close and often people have more similar problems then we think. Even if none of the advice particularly helps, sometimes just knowing that someone is going through or has gone through something similar I think is often reassuring. I hope things work out for you, odds are I shall check back again.
–Paperxheart

katie says:

March 27, 2007 at 3:11 pm

Haha, I was like that too when I first saw you had commented xD. I was like “OMG.. someone is actually reading my bloggg”
I must say.. I LOVE your poem and I was totally serious in my comment, you DO have a way with words, so ty for that. It was lovely.

Thank you for the advice, it really helped. I’m going to listen to you.. I’m just going to wait and see what happens.
If he suddenly dates another girl then I’m just going to get over him and be a good friend but for the moment (this might sound sluty but oh well xD) flirting is very fun lmfaoooo.
He’s a great friend and I don’t want to lose the relationship that has been formed between me and him.

Your friend is very right. It is like we’re dating anyway. Apart from we don’t kiss and what not lol
Oh and by the way.. You DO get a prize for the worlds longest comments… Um *thinks*
idk what it is yet. Imma be thinking all day now but you HAVE won a loyal friend who will be here to help, give advice and listen to your wonderful poems.
((I’ll think of a better prize and tell you in my next comment LOL))

Thank you again for the advice. It’s helped alot.

Love, Katie x

Paperxheart says:

March 28, 2007 at 12:56 am

I know, it is so great to know that other people actually know your blog exists ^^ My “master plan” of commenting on other people’s blogs to get them to come look at mine has only worked with you so far, but I have high hopes. And if they likes mine, then they’ll probably check out the link to yours, so it’s all good
I’m glad the advice helped. It’s nice to know, ‘cause even if you think you’re helping, a reaffirmation is always good I hope things work out for you, but if he “suddenly dates another girl” I have experience in that department too :/ In my situation I have also found that friendship is the most important thing above all else, even if at times it can be hard (even when he wasn’t dating someone else) but even if it can be hard, it is right. I would never want to loose the friendship we share. I hope things do work out for you guys though, because that would be wonderful for you! And, of course, in the mean time you can be happy with your “unofficial” dating =3

I get a prize? YEAY! ^^ Seriously, however, I think that finding someone to chat with about things is nice, and now I have a visitor to my site! Which I will try to keep updating. I plan to reorganize it, and I have some blog entries to put up, after I finish typing them up. Not to get off the original point, it is great to have you around. I’m glad I found your blog and write “the world’s longest comments” XD
Thank you for the compliments on my writings. It is very much appreciated. As a possible career I am considering being a writer, since I passionately enjoy it. I do write more then poems, but poems are easy to turn out fast, and still get the point eloquently across. I may put up some more “long” writings in the future, depending on how busy my schedule is. Yes, though, thank you for the comments! Any suggestions and such you have I would love to hear those also
–Paperxheart

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