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Post: All I wanted to do was dance.

The things I hate most about people is that if you let them get too close to you, your allowing them to have to ability to break you. With parents, you just expect that they are going to be there, let you chase your dreams and not stand in the way of it, but is that too much to expect from them?
Sometimes it seems as though they’re encouraging you to pursue you dreams, but I’m getting the wrong message from mine.
My parents are divorced, have been since I was about 8 years old. It was really tough on me to see that happen. Since then my dad has always asked if my mom was pushing me to continue dancing at my dance studio. I ALWAYS told him that I was the reason that I kept at it, not mom. But of course he never believed me, which isn’t surprising because since when does he believe me anymore?
So it was about a month ago that I had my most recent dance recital, and I was sitting back stage in my dressing room with my dance class. We were watching the dancers dance their hearts out on stage. I loved watching all the classes dance, but I especially loved watching the competition dancers [the higher, more advanced, dedicated dancers]. As I sat there, watching, I realized that I wanted to be a competition dancer. That day after the recital, after my dad had gone back to work, I talked to my mom about what I wanted to do. Of course, she was behind me one hundred percent. She always told me “If you ever want to quit dancing, don’t worry about hurting my feelings, it’s your dream to chase.” I actually had contemplated dropping out of dance, but I stuck with it because it was a lot of fun.
A few weeks after the dance recital, the time to order videos from the recital rolls around, so my mom and I go up to the studio to order a video and to talk to my teachers, Molly and Geno, about their opinions on me joining competition. They thought it would be a great thing for me to do, so I told my mom “Hey, I really want to do this,” and she agreed that it was okay, but only as long as my dad agreed to help her out with paying for it [it got pretty spendy when you were taking a couple dance classes a week]. By the time I got back home I was pumped, excited and what not. So I called my dad, cheery and giddy because I was anxious to hear if he would help pay for dancing. I didn’t even finish my first sentence when he interrupted me and said “I’m not going to pay for it.” Flat out crushed me. I would have started crying right then and there if my mom hadn’t been standing right next to me, watching my facial expressions. After a few minutes of arguing with him, trying to figure out his reason of why he wouldn’t help pay I lost hope and said I’d talk to him later and hung up.
I don’t think he realized it then, but it really hurt me. The sad part is, he didn’t even get to hear that I would be chipping in to pay for it also. Maybe that would have changed his mind, I don’t know.
This just happened today, and I haven’t called him since, but I’m hoping he’ll change his mind. He doesn’t realize how much it would mean to me if I were to be able to do this. I’m not sure if I’m going to tell him how he’d hurt my feelings when he flat out said no, just because I don’t want to see him feeling bad. I guess if he decides that his decision right off the bat was the final decision then I’ll deal with it because I don’t want to put my parents through too much trouble.

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