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so yeah, im aware havent blogged in a while. its been kinder hectic at home and uni and stuff.
uni’s realy weird for me right now….i mean the people are wicked but i dont know im just not liking it for some reason i wish i knew why…ive been avoiding my lectures and meeting up with my friends instead. its not that i dont want to leave them behind and move on or anything because i can see them at weekends and evenings. im just not liking it, it could be the off putting travelling for 2 and half hours to uni ( i dont move into my flat for 2 weeks) but i dont think its that either, im just well…i feel lost and dont realy know where im going or even if i want to go anywhere if that makes sense?
so yeah, Hot Stuff, i told you,im falling in love with him. i seem him so much and that just makes me fall for him more. HE FEELS THE SAME AND I KNOW IT! but he still doesnt want a relationship. i know he talks to other girls…buti just feel when its me..its more then just fun i know he want sme just as much as i want him, this is so weird i realy dont know what to do, it dont want to get over him because i just have this hope and tiny thing inside of me that knows hes going to come around eventualy. i know i said i dont want to wait for him and i just want to focus on uni but it really isnt as easy as that. at uni all i think about is him. on the train there and the way back…at home..when i eat…when i see something…hes the first person i hear from when i wake up…and the last before i go to sleep. this is bad…really bad.
i just know he puts on this front of just wanting fun, but deep down i can see he realy wants to be loved like the rest of us,sometimes when he thinks know ones looking or paying attention that front of his falls and i see the real him, the soft him..the one that just wants to be hugged and looked after. i wish i could make him see that the way hes going about this is realy wrong,and the correct way is totaly staring him in his pretty brown eyes.
tommorow i have family stuff going on but im going to try and escape it all and go and see him, ive seen him everday for about two weeks now,except yesterday, and you know what…i missed him…i didnt think i would think twice but i did…i was losing my breath just thinking about him…the saying ‘he takes my breath away’ finally makes sense to me.
its getting cold here now, so i bought a jacket, a RED one to be exact. its sooo nice.I LOVE IT!
think i should try and get some sleep,lots of love and kisses
annonymousgirl
xxxx
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