A story of a crazed beautiful girl.
Her parents divorced when she was only four and till this day I think that’s the reason why she rages out and does the things she does. She was thirteen when she first fell into love. Fourteen and a half when she lost her virginity of the boy she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. I suppose that’s were it all started though. She did everything for this boy. He took her life, he took her innocence, he took her child hood. She loved him for everything he was worth, which was absolutely nothing. She was never wrong and if she was, she would never admit it. She was so beautiful so energetic and full of spirit. She knew it too. Life was great for this girl but she wanted more, she wanted new, she wanted change. Nothing was ever good enough for her, nothing was new enough. At the age of fourteen she smoked her first blunt with the boy from down the road. Sudden urges made her want it more. Stealing money, borrowing money, for the rush of something she thought was so calming she found it so assuring. Everyday she was blowing hundreds ever which way for a buzz of forget ness. She was sixteen when she was blessed with a gift from god. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong person, and wrong life. Once everything was realized and dealt with the gift was lost in an ocean of shock and loneliness. As quick as that it was gone. She was sixteen and a half when she lost the so called love of her life to a jail shock and she grew up and realized that it was time to let go. Time was difficult and the time was slow and alone. She clutched onto any and every thing that she could have as a security. She was 3 months away from turning seventeen when she did her first line of coke with the guy that hit her heart from miles away. He was her danger, he was her new. He taught her things that she should have never known. He showed her feelings that she should have never felt. He was her new…. Late nights, partying right selling things for the buzz of her life. She just could never get it right. She was so perfect and everyone saw it. A trendsetter, people wanted to be like her. Do the things the way she did them because she was so unique. She was loved by so many but it was never enough. She never had it all. She got her heart broken for the last time and she decided that it was over and she never wanted anything to do with it again. Till this day the feeling of his touch will never explode from her mind. It was something different, something new and always was new with him. He was and always will be her new. It was a Wednesday, a snowy Wednesday when she thought she wanted more from her life. She skipped school for the millionth time and went with a guy that will end up influencing her life more than she will ever know. He loved her, he loves her. She was confused, she loves him. It was a wrong time in her new life she was stuck but she needed this new. With out this new she will never know what its like to be treated the way she is suppose to be treated. She was trying to use her head with this one, no more following her heart, it was sending her to all the wrong directions. She went with it for a while, she went with it confused. Finally it hit her, he loved her, she loved him. This was true. She hoped it was true. She hopes it is true. Her heart, her beauty, her new, her life. On the line she lays her heart never knowing what to expect from all this different feelings. It’s the new she needs, the new she thrives on, and until the new is gone, she remains lost in the newness of what she thinks is love.
