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Post: How To Say “No” To Your Partner

“Sex is equivalent to love”- this is an absolutely wrong connotation that a lot of teens tend to believe in. If you are engaged in a serious relationship with your partner, it doesn’t mean that you have to have sex in order to strengthen your relationship or “move to the next level of your relationship”.

Could You Handle Becoming Pregnant?

If you have been in a situation where you are pressured to give in to physical pleasure, stop a moment and think of the possible outcomes and the aftermath of what you are about to do. Do you really want to be a teen mother/ father? Are you prepared financially and emotionally to be one? Are you ready to face your friends and families and tell them about it?

The truth is, if you are attracted to a person or in love with somebody, it’s really hard to say no. But there are times that you just have to. The easiest way to say “no” to sex is to simply say it. Compose yourself and tell your partner “No. I don’t think we should do this” or simply “No. I do not want to have sex”. If you utter these words, make sure that you say it with conviction. If you are kissing and lying in bed, stop what you are doing and get up. You may have to say “no” a couple of times if your partner keep pressuring you to have sex.

Naturally, if you say no, your partner is likely to object. You should be prepared for this. There is no formula or pre-written script that you can say, just be true to yourself in explaining what you feel and why you think this is not the right time to engage in sex just yet.

Your Reasons For Saying No!

As early as now, it would also be a good idea to think of the reasons why you choose not to engage in teen sex or premarital sex. Whether you are obligated by your religion to abstain from sex before marriage, or whether you think you are not emotionally ready yet, or if you think it would be a problem to your parents, whatever the reasons are, you should know them. Openly state your reason for rejecting sex. Remember that if you had sex before, it is not enough reason to give in just as easily. To abstain from sex is a choice, even if you are no longer a virgin, it is not hypocritical to say no even if you had engaged in such an activity before.

Remember that having sex is not a guarantee that your partner will love you more. There are a lot of teenagers that attests that they wished they had never done it after doing it. STD or sexually transmitted disease is also a reality you have to face. There is no guarantee that you can avoid this disease by just using condoms.

Other Ways To Be Intimate Without Sex

Sexual intercourse is not the only way of showing your love or passion to your partner. Intimacy comes in different forms. There a lot of things that can show a person that you love him or her without having sexual contact with each other. You can save up and give your partner something he/ she really wants on her birthday or you can give a simple gift even if there’s no occasion. Share things together and talk a lot. A good laugh is always something good to share with your partner. Being romantic and sweet in small ways can mean a lot.

A relationship should not be centered in sex. There are lots of things that you can share together other than physical contact. Do not be in a relationship just because you are physically attracted to your partner, learn to love a person for who they are.

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3 Responses to “How To Say “No” To Your Partner”

  1. Sexetc Says:
    December 4th, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    Saying ‘no’ to sex can be really difficult. You can find stories written by teens on this and lots of other topics, like love, relationships, pregnancy and birth control at Sex, Etc.

    http://www.sexetc.org

  2. Teen Dating: Are You Compatible? - Posted In Sex, Dating & Relationships Says:
    February 27th, 2008 at 9:56 am

    [...] Once you start dating the same person for a while and the dating turns more into a relationship, you might start to feel pressurized to do more intimate things such as sex, your friends will also start asking questions such as “How far have you gone”, or “have you shagged him/her yet”, but you should not give into this pressure unless you really feel that you are ready. If your not ready, you should have a read of this. [...]

  3. spoken_truth08 Says:
    June 17th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    This article was indeed a good one, I agree with it a 100 %. You rarely find males discuissing and believing and sexual purity, it kinda shocked me for a moment. Teenagers in these day in times feel that sex is the main focus in a relationship. If a person really loves you for you and who you are as a person if you tell them that you’re waiting then they will wait with you. Religion to me is important and my goal is wait until I am in United in Holy Matrimony to take part in sex. Young people you have to set morals and values for yourself. I look it at it like this when I get married I want to be able to give my husband something no one has ever had, of course they can get all the materialistic things and someone else have it. So what makes it special? No one other than my husband will be able to say I had sex wiith her, that will be my gift to him. Teenagers are so quick to jump put here and have sex not realizing the things that come along with it. The emotional aspect behind it, wind up getting pregnant, and lord knows the millions of diseases out here. And I bet that they don’t know that once they sleep with a person they take on their spirits. It’s scripture. Again I really enjoyed your blog. Take care.

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