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Post: in this blog u can really help me

im very confused at this point. me and my ex are somewhat back together and i want it to work out cuz we do have a baby together now. we argue too much though and i feel like he just doesnt want to be with me. its so stupid cuz we get back together and everything is good then a few days later we will argue about something and break up. i hate breaking up with him cuz i feel like my heart is being ripped out right out of my chest. sometimes i feel like i want to marry him and other times i want to never see him again. I AM SO DAMN CONFUSED. right now as i type we are in a halfway back together thing where we arent really together but still saywe love each other. i do love him that never change but i feel awkard saying that to him when we arent a couple. he said it first too…i was too much of a coward to admit i still loved him. he’s good at expressing his feelings and im not. but here’s the problem…i feel like he’s lying to me all the time. for example today we were supposed to spend the fourth of july together but then at last minute he tells me his older sister wants to hang out with him. theres a cultural barrier so i couldnt come along. i just think he wanted to hang out wiith his friends instead of me. i cant confront him on anything cuz he’ll get mad and say i dont trust him and right nowi cant take another “breakup” or argument. i sound so dominated but really im not i just dont like confrontation. im 8 months soon and stress is what my OB says i cannot have. i guess until he calls me all i can do is nothing

i feel the baby! he kicks all the time now and its actually the only thing left that makes me smile wide. im much more careful about what i do now. im startin to really get the “maternal” kick in my mom was tellin me about. i thought it would never kick in but i guess now it has. i am actaully excited about his arrival which is september 10 but they say cuz im so young i can him early as august 20 so thats real soon. we havent bought any baby stuff mostly cuz my mom is so busy at work and money is tight right now. im hoping we got the more pricy stuff from family and friends at the baby shower.

i wish i could help more.i want to get a sit down job but jobs give me one look and say “we have already filled the position” and i think this has got to be illegal but i dont know who to complain to. i could win 500 dollars by getting the most refferalls at this site called picture your prize but all my friends(which is few) wont do it.

well in the end i hope everything works out. i actally started praying again. not saying im all holy but im getting there. im working on being a better person right now.not that i was a bad person i just made too many silly mistakes with my life that i know i could have avoided.

and btw if you want to help me win the 500 dollars then go to picture your prize.com and sign up. make sure you put CRYSTALICA in the reffered by box. I really want to win and if yoour reading this then you know how much i need the money for my baby boy.

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One Response to “in this blog u can really help me”

  1. chyeanna Says:
    July 25th, 2008 at 4:56 am

    Right now you just worry about your baby. That’s the most impt thing. Maybe a break away from the babys dad will help. Maybe stress about having a baby is what’s causing all the extra stress. Give it some time and don’t worry about being with him as much as taking care of and getting ready for the arrival of your baby boy. You may be surprised what that baby boy will do to bring you two together again. Best of wishes chyeanna

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